Sunday, March 16, 2008

My Post Secrets...

"My life is an open book, but you have to pull it off the shelf first, dust it off, and open the cover, if you ever want to read the stories inside. In other words, when asked, I am always honest about who I am, where I've been, where I'm going, and what I want in life, but I don't always broadcast it without request. I am a private person in addition to being a proud one..."

That is the introductory paragraph to not only my personal MySpace account but also the memoirs I have started writing ("yeah, like anyone's gonna wanna read those!"-- dean, but I think he was half-kidding when he said it...). It's insanely true: if you ask me the right questions, you won't be able to get me to shut up. I know who I am and what I want in life, and I have no problem vocalizing it (or any of my other extreme opinions). I also have no shame, and I don't believe in regrets, which is perhaps why I'm not afraid to list some things that are normally supposed to be anonymous here in this very public, very obviously stamped-with-my-name forum. All that being said, somehow in this virtual game of tag-- just like the real schoolyard version-- I managed to be the slow one because I got caught again. I seriously don't know if there are seven more things that are unknown about me, but here goes nothing:

1.) There was a brief moment on September 11th when I wondered if, instead of trying to walk home that day, I just slipped into the fog instead and tried to hop a plan to California a little bit early. The dream died when I realized there would always be a paper trail, and planes were grounded anyway. But a few months ago I read a similar Post Secret about a guy who said everyone from his old life thought he did die that day, and I couldn't help but wonder how he managed to get away with it.

2.) I hold people up to impossible standards, and the amount of them who have actually lived up to those standards can be counted on one of my hands. Along the same lines, I find I don't like most people, even after I get to know them.

3.) When I was in elementary school a friend of mine's mom had cancer, and I remember thinking said friend would be better off if her mother passed away from the disease than if she had to grow into a teenager with someone so judgmental and superficial as her moral compass.

4.) I learned all I did about sex and love from something I saw on television.

5.) I've been getting home so early from work that I started watching 8 Simple Rules... in syndication, and I cry at almost every episode-- partially because the episodes without Ritter are so sad, and partially because the ones with him are, as well (because unfortunately in this town you're only as good as your last show, and sadly that tired old stereotypical formula was his).

6.) I wish I grew up in a small town (preferably a decade or two before I actually did).

7.) I’ve always been insanely competitive but not when it comes to sports. I had to be the first one to get my driver’s license; I had to graduate from college in three years instead of four; I even had to take a spelling test over in first grade because I wasn’t happy with a 90% (in my defense on that one, though: I had been spelling the word wrong all week, but no one who checked my homework corrected me, and I didn’t want to be penalized for that oversight because I had a streak to maintain!).

Now that I've spilled some of the darker side of me, I hope we can still be friends :)

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