Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Now That I've Started...

... I kind of can't stop!

Live Blogging American Idol's Top 7 Results

21:00 Ryan announces record voting; ironic considering it was the lowest-rated episode in at least a month. I guess everyone wanted to watch a woman win Biggest Loser but then got on the phone to vote for their faves regardless of actually hearing their faves.

21:01 He also announces they'll be taking calls again. I miss the half-hour results shows. Less useless patter.

21:03 Paula thinks it's Christmas time because she's wearing a corsage bow around her neck. Remember when Phoebe got the hummus on Friends and then covered it with a wreath of a broach? Like that.

21:05 The 7 take the stage to sing "One Sweet Day." God, could you be more cliché, American Idol??? Jason starts; he does something weird in the beginning, and I tune out. Then comes Kristy who's doing that hip-rocking thing until she seems to realize it doesn't fit the song and stops just in time to mess up a note. Brooke doesn't sound right and looks really nervous; she's probably (sadly) going home tonight. David C. does some weird rocking thing that reminds me of the previous night's assessment. David A. Sigh. He gets ridiculous cheers just by stepping forward, but I just want him to go back to school.

21:06 There you are, Carly. Was that so hard? Why couldn't you do that last night?

21:09 Recap that makes my head (and ears) hurt. I switch to ABC for a minute to catch something of importance: the Democratic presidential debate.

21:12 Jason likes the beach but is too high to find it. He has to head to Ryan's left and carefully watches his own feet as he walks across the stage.

21:13 David gets emotional answering Ryan about whether or not he got emotional last night. He heads to the right. Gee, after reading a dozen or so other responses to his rendition of "Always Be My Baby" that left me alone in my thoughts (as per usual) I wonder which is the "safe" group now.

21:14 Simon shares my sentiment about pushing Carly and knowing she could have done better last night. She joins Jason. Oh side note, I'm glad to see her sleeveless again. I think the producers asked her to cover her tattoos because they were "off-putting" to the young audience. LAME! Music is all about self-expression, and body art is a form of that, so it should be celebrated, not hidden. I'm so sick of "suits" making artists into commodities; no wonder they crack under pressure-- they're forced to be something they're not.

21:15 Kristy calls Simon a butt but says she mostly agrees with the judges' assessment (of her? in general? Who knows; I think she's high, too). She joins the other Cook on the right. Heh. I just noticed they have the same last name.

21:15.5 Ryan announces Elliot Yamin will perform after the commercial. 1) I hope he sings a Mariah song. He can rock it. 2) I have a bad feeling they're going to run over, and TiVos all across America will once again cut off Mariah's performance. For those of you who missed last week's "Fly Like A Bird," go out and download it from iTunes immediately! That song makes me want to go to church. In a good way.

21:19 Commercials still going strong. I use the break to listen to MTV's acoustic version of "Love Story." It's hot, dawg.


21:20 Creepy marionettes!

21:21 Elliot Yamin sings "Free," a song with which I don't think I'm familiar. I know his mother just died and all, but he looks haggard-- he missteps when he first comes out and looks into the camera in the awkward "Oh, I forgot you were there" sort of way... but his voice is just as silky as ever, and I suddenly wish he was back on this show so he could win. I like him immensely more than I like any of the remaining contestants.

21:24 He gets so into the song; there's the emotion that's been lacking, and he waves... oh, that's a message to his mom. He's a sweet Kanye. I just want to hug him. And brush his hair.

21:25 Syesha heads left. I'm confused.

21:26 Brooke says "I love you" to the crowd again in an almost snippy way. She looks like she's about to cry as she "promises" she put everything she had into it. Well, if that's all you have, I'm sorry to say I don't think it's good enough. But she heads to the right. Huh. That leaves lil' Davey Archie backstage alone in his red leather jacket. Kid, wearing leather doesn't make you seem more mature; take it from me, the girl who owned not one but two pairs of leather pants (one of which was red) and a leather miniskirt. God were we classy in the BK!

21:28 Ryan announces Mariah will be up after the break. Some girl in the audience cheers really loudly. I think she and I would be good friends.

21:31 Phone calls? Ryan is such a Mariah tease! He says we can go online and ask questions, but I'm on the west coast, so unfortunately they will not hear my "Why the hell do you have this stupid segment? Just let Mariah sing two tonight!"

21:31.5 Kristy says the guy who bought her horse won't sell it back, and Brooke, leaning back on her elbows like she's an angry drunk, boos like... well, like she's an angry drunk (or just upset that she's probably going home tonight).

21:33 A question about the judges' first purchased albums... blah blah blah... joke at Paula's expense.

21:34 "Megan from Paula's show" calls in; Paula has no idea who she is. She says hi to a few contestants and then asks Paula what song of hers best describes her relationship with Simon. Why are we plugging old eighties non-hits tonight?

21:35 Simon, "What is the difference between theme park, karaoke, hamburger without the beef?" I know the answer: they're all variations of saying "shitty," so I hit mute and play "Side Effects" instead.

21:37 I only unmute because I see the big E=MC2 album cover on the curtain. She walks out to cheers but no intro music; the sound guy must have had his playback on mute, too. Actually it's probably better there's no intro 'cause "Bye Bye" starts with sonogram sounds, and while that's probably not really what the FX is, it chokes me up every time just by the idea of it.

21:40 Jesus, her arms look great. I'm going to do the broom exercises. Seriously. I just bought a new one from Target. It's silver. I'm babbling now to keep from crying. I have a hard time hearing about people who have lost their fathers because it's always someone who really loved the man and wishes he was still around, and I just feel so guilty. Maryann chimes in on the power notes; Mariah keeps it together, but she's walking all over the stage and pointing at the crowd like you know she just wants to lose her shit, but she's facing hundreds of fans of AI, not necessarily of hers, so she keeps it in as much as she can, but she can’t hold back everything. I love that gospel side to her. Go download this song.

21:42 Mariah is asked to critique Randy and manages to subtlely plug her album. She's doing some hardcore campaigning, and I don't think it's necessary. She'll pull the big numbers; she has the fan base, even without all the crazy appearances to which she has bounced back and forth. Don't get me wrong, though, I tuned into them all: I love seeing her sing live, even if it's just in subdued forum of a talk show. Okay, back to the show: Mariah tells the contestants to "do you" and keep their heads up 'cause everything will be all right. She seems to be talking to two in particular, which leads me to believe she's seen the results "envelope" 'cause Lord knows she didn't sit in her hotel room, in a bathrobe, eating Bon Bons with JJ in bed and actually watch the performances last night.

21:47 Brooke looks so sad :( David A. gets called out and admits how "comfortable" he's getting. They're setting him up as the star of this show, but I hope they're also setting him up for a shock because this safety thing gets taken forgranted... oh crap, he's safe. The president I want to win never does, and same looks to be the case for American Idol winners.

21:48 "Too many Cooks in the kitchen," Ryan? How long have you been waiting to say that? He makes David and Syesha swap, and now it makes less sense. David A. opts to sit instead of join those he thinks are safe. Does he not understand he's not wishing one to be safe? Stop being so PC and unoffensive!!! I finally understand why Paula wanted to dangle his head from her rearview mirror!

21:49 Somehow through the screams and bustling and shuffling on stage, we learn the Bottom 3 is the 3 girls: KLC, Brooke, Syesha. I feel like I've seen this all before.

21:53 A commercial for the local news shows Simon's chippy interviewing Mariah about which contestants she thought did the best with her songs. Stop making the poor woman lie through gritted teeth; she's tired, and she still has a signing to do tomorrow!

21:54 Syesha is safe. Paula skirts the question about whether or not this is the right bottom. Simon prematurely tells KLC good-bye, and she smarts off that she made it past Top Ten, so yeah, she'll be touring, and... Brooke is staying!!! America got something right! I mean, sure her performance wasn't amazing, but it was steady, and with past performances in mind it would be a great injustice to keep KLC around longer (as if it isn't a big enough one to have her get this far as it is).

21:56 Her exit package showcases her prized horse (natch.) and her jumping into the pool. I wonder if she took her mic off first, and if not, if it shocked her when it got wet, and if it did, if that explains her uneveness. She spars with the camera, montage of her singing (without the sound, thankfully), and then she sings directly to Simon as the show closes. At least she seems to have a good sense of humor.

21:59 Huh; I actually think she sounds remarkably better tonight than she did last night. I still don't like it, but then I just don't like that country twang in general. She's holding her own against the song, though... and then Fox cuts her off mid-note. An appropriate way to say good-bye to someone who's had this a long time coming, I'd say.

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