Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Second Time's The Charm?...

Now that Mariah Carey's wedding has been officially confirmed (after a week of crazy speculation, I still held onto the belief it was either a) a filmed wedding for her "Bye Bye" video, in which Nick plays her dead? love or b) some elaborate publicity stunt (ala Pop Fiction) for her new album; she's gone on a lot of crazy shows to promote the hell out of it thus far, what's one more?), I officially feel okay about weighing in with my own two cents.
With the emergence of the People magazine exclusive cover/article (and kudos to everyone in her camp for keeping it so underwraps it couldn't leak to any other outlets than the one you sold it to first... take notes, Jenny McCarthy!), I guess I will have to throw my hat onto my third and quite frankly, least popular, theory. She must be pregnant.

In all of her press interviews for E=MC2, Mariah was constantly asked about motherhood (something which seemed out of the blue if not a strategic ploy to plant seeds of what's to come in the mind of her fans), and reiterated time and again that she'd have to be married, in a stable, committed relationship first. Though that's not my belief, I can understand where she's coming from: she grew up with divorced parents and was exposed to the kind of heartache that can cause, so she automatically assumes the other side is better. And she may not be wrong; I'm sure growing up in a home with two parents who are in love is healthier than anything else; I just think it's rare to find.

So the quickie marriage, following an equally quick courtship, just has my cynical conspiracy theorist eyebrows raised, and of course I would assume her new union comes out of the desire to make good on all of those promises set in print. Is there any evidence to support my claims? Not really. Not yet anyway. Not unless you count the ultrasound... sounds in the intro to the aforementioned "Bye Bye" or the fact that now when asked about motherhood she says: "It's part of the whole purpose of getting married. I'd just want our children to have the best childhood and upbringing they possibly could." Other than that, though, there are no physical signs: she is thinner now than she has been in years; she looks fantastic, if bordering on a little gaunt. But I'm going to hold to my theory until she and her infant of a groom (I'm not judging her the age difference, but he has always seemed so damn immature, and personally I find Marc Sudack MUCH more attractive!) prove me wrong.

It's not that I don't think she'd make a good mother-- it's quite the opposite, actually; I think her sensitivity and the fact that she has endured as much as she has will only make her stronger in that category-- it's just that Nick is such a baffoon, I can't imagine spending forever with him. I mean, maybe she's just still so scarred from the domineering personality of Tommy Mottola, that she wanted to go in the completely opposite direction and find someone who needs dominance and boundaries and control. Maybe it's a way to start mothering early. I can only speculate. I can't help but be skeptical because I know what it's like to be "... little protective 'bout who I let in side," and women like us just can't change overnight! Maybe it really is love, though, and if it is, I wish them all the best.

UPDATE: Apparently, Mariah also got a "Mrs. Cannon" tattoo on her back-- an oddity for two reasons: 1) It's her first tattoo, and if I remember correctly she used to say in interviews they're "just not for her" and 2) Surely she wears the pants in that relationship, and he should have gotten a "Mr. Carey" tramp stamp! And it's not like my friend K., who got her fiance's initials tattooed on her wrist... at least when she called off that relationship, it was a small, easy fix. Mariah's sounds more like Angelina Jolie ink. But again, if this is real, I wish them all the best. Hopefully there will be no need to call in the lasers.

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