If you've been tuning into 30 Rock for the eye-candy, sadly last night was your last chance, as the inevitable demise of Liz and Dr. Drew (Jon Hamm) that we were all waiting for from the seemingly shocking start to their relationship finally (and funnily!) occurred. Liz begins to take note of-- and not be captivated by-- just how easily Dr. Drew skates by because he is good looking. Random women on the street come up to him and tell him he looks nice, meter maids rip up tickets right in front of him, he gets seated at Plunder even during the lunch rush, and Calvin Klein offers him a job as an underwear model. He lives in his own little good-looking bubble.
Jack advises Liz to stay in there with Dr. Drew while he is still in the bubble and enjoy-- stop harping on-- the perks while she can. Because the bubble doesn't last forever. He shows her a photo of himself in his twenties to prove his point. Sadly we don't get to see a young, dark-haired Alec Baldwin's head superimposed on Gabriel Aubry's body, but Liz makes the point for us: even Jack's eyes aren't as blue now as they used to be.
But as much as Liz might like free food sent to her table when dining with Dr. Drew, she very quickly realizes that there is much more bad to livig in "The Bubble" than good. He cooks with orange gatorade, is "as bad at sex as [she] is," and doesn't even know the Heimlich manuever. Liz begins to suspect everything he has was given, rather than earned, and the worst part is that he has no idea he actually sucks at life. She believes he is just a victim of society's "obscene cult of superficiality" and is determined to tell him the truth.
Tracy's contract is up after three cuh-razy years at TGS, and Jack knows that people who are above money (apparently Tracy invested all of his videogame money into a company that dismantles bank signs, and with the current state of the economy, that is perhaps the one company that is thriving) care more about the relationships in their lives. He is not worried Tracy will leave because they share a special bond. Funny, I don't remember seeing Jack eat dinner over at Tracy's mom's house! Jack offers Tracy the terms of his existing contract plus a three percent increase and because Tracy thinks TGS is better than a family (because no one around there asks him to donate marrow), he agrees with only a slight hesitation...and only then because he "was thinking about how weird it is that we eat birds." The second Jack points out that this isn't about money because Tracy doesn't really need to work, though, he quits. Living in a bubble of his own, he had never thought about it that way before.
Jack tries to get him back through wooing him with phone calls from his teen idols (Bill Cosby, really just some dude who works for GE and is good at impressions, and Billy Dee Williams, whose voice Jack does himself). It backfires because apparently Bill Cosby wronged Tracy's "aunt with the droopy eye." Then he tries enlisting Tracy's kids to help him "fix this. Liz can't believe he is trying to hide his screw-up from her for a change.
Jack finally goes to Kenneth, who is really the only one with insight into anyone over at the TGS set because he does everything for everyone. In fact, even though Tracy quit, Kenneth is still doing things for him, like riding his bike to his house "to hold his hand during Lost." He is the ace in the hole, and Jack prepares to dangle Kenneth in front of Tracy just as he dangled Kenneth in front of Devon...just in a non-sexual way this time. Assumedly.
Liz takes Dr. Drew to a restaurant with a forty-five minute wait for a table. What he wants is not on the menu, so she tries to order it anyway, and the waitress tells her she will slap the glasses off her face if she tries to make up dishes again. She literally says that. It is New York, after all. There is no complimentary appetizer sampler on the table, either, so Dr. Drew begins to get uncomfortable, like he has entered bizarro world. She has to sit him down--well, technically he is already seated-- and explain that "this is how most people live." Okay, grant it, not everyone can have footage of them used to create one of the Disney Princes, but not everyone is as walking disaster as Liz. Most people are somewhere in between. She doesn't think to mention that, though.
Liz bursts Dr. Drew's bubble, and he tells her he doesn't want to live that way, and she should be honest with him because he can take it. But naturally, he can't. They play one game of tennis where she doesn't let him win, and he becomes the spoiled child who suddenly had his pony stolen from him and stomps his feet and calls her a B word.
Jenna, jealous again (she is becoming a bit one-note...unlike her singing, ba-dum-bum) over the attention Tracy is getting from the media decides to go on The Today Show and cut off all of her hair for charity. Those are not two mutually exclusive things: she plans to have her hair chopped off on national, live television. Cue the obligatory guest star (Meredith Viera)! Cue the cuh-razy on-air meltdown when Mere V. tells Jenna that Tracy quit and she is the only star left. Suddenly she "doesn't need this anymore" and springs up, surprisingly not losing an embarrassing or unfixable amount of hair. Her charity will get screwed, but that will probably only bring her more publicity. If only it wasn't obvious that Tracy was going to come back within the next five minutes, things might actually be turning around for Jenna!
Kenneth's main job is taking care of Tracy, so if Tracy is around, there will be no need for Kenneth anymore. Tracy can't allow his main man to get fired, so he agrees to come back. Dr. Drew goes back to Liz and tells her he wants to stay in the bubble, but he wants her there with him. She can't do it because he uses the word "ironically" wrong (probably in that Alanis Morissette sort of way), wants to go upstate on a motorcycle he certainly doesn't know how to ride, and speaks made-up French. So she breaks up with him. Huh. Didn't see that one coming. Maybe our little Liz is not only growing up but beginning to think outside her own little bubble.
Best lines of the night:
Jack: "Tracy and I have become quite close. Look, we got BFF bracelets."
Liz: "You guys are best friends forever?"
Jack: "That's not what that stands for."
Kenneth: "But why would you want to cut your hair? You look exactly as I imagine Mary Magadalene to be."
Jenna: "Thank you, but I am a self-less person who can't get arrested in this town!"
Pete: "I already explained that: that was a police sketch of a flasher who happened to look like Tracy...we hope."
Tracy Jr: "Thanks to you, I now have an unemployed father. Are you trying to make a stereotype out of me? Did you even vote for Obama!??"