Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Talk About Your Earworms!...

Lately I have been watching a lot of ABC programming on their website. I just can't give up Cold Case in order to watch Desperate Housewives at nine on a Sunday night, for example, so I tune in at my desk at the corporation come Monday morning. Similarly, I needed to see my boy Kris Allen on the Final Four (American Idol) and therefore had to miss the Better Off Ted season finale. And finally, I got into The Unusuals by watching the first five episodes back-to-back on a random Friday afternoon at my computer. Watching online promises limited commercials, which intrigued me from the very beginning, but I quickly came to find that limited refers not just to the number of commercials strategically placed into each episode but also the type of commercials. And let me tell you, even with such limited options, ABC managed to find the Most Annoying ones.

Remember when the Head-On commercial was the worst thing to cross your television? It was just the same ten seconds repeated three or four times in a row, featuring a guy (or gal) screaming the brand name. But those were the days before TiVo became what it is today, so advertisers had to get creative with their jingles; they had to come up with a way to create something that could be seen as "cutesy" with at least fifty percent of the viewing public. But I have been media-savvy since before I was in double digits, and I can see right through them! Though I do have friends who actually enjoy the following commercials (even if only in small doses), these all cause me to roll my eyes and groan with disdain.

I love John Corbett more than the next girl (unless that next girl is my friend Jamie who loves him so much she though the camera operator that we worked with at Ellen looked like him-- or maybe she just loved the camera op so much she hoped he looked like Corbett??? ;P). However, after countless viewings of the new Applebee's commercials, not even his voice could salvage how greasy and heart-palpitating (and not in the good way) their food looks. I want to run around the block every time I see these spots, and no one dislikes exercise more than me!

Subway may offer a great deal in this time of recession with their five-dollar foot long sub sandwiches (even if said sandwiches are mostly bread and lettuce strips and very little actual meat (or anything of substance), but their jingle grates on me to no end. I have actually gotten to the point where if I pass one of their stores on my way home from work, while I'm looking for somewhere to stop for dinner, I purposely keep going, just to spite their advertising team. I don't want to reward such assuming behavior; we are not all brainwashed drones!

Red Bull's "gives you wings" slogan is not annoying on it's own, but coupled with poor animation, worse inflection!, and horrid messages (like the one where the little boy gives pigs Red Bull so they will fly in front of his mother so she'll have to let him go to a strip club), the brand makes me sick. Even sicker just watching the commercials than if I had actually downed some of the putrid, burning liquid. And I am not just saying this because they turned down my podcast sponsorship proposal!

Actually, these are all commercials that get stuck in your head for days and make you want to scream when you actually come into contact with the product (or even just the product's silent poster ad on the side of a bus!). And just when I've thought I've forgotten all about this particular one, it creeps up into my subconscious; I have even woken up humming it! So what exactly is this worst offender? Jack in the Box' Mini Sirloin Burgers, of course!

Or maybe I just have something against fast food.

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