Monday, July 20, 2009

Oh Honey, Oh Sweetie, Oh Lindsay, No...

I really wanted to like Labor Pains. I really wanted it to be like Mean Girls for slightly older girls. I really wanted it to be your big comeback moment, even though it was relegated to (and therefore awkwardly edited for) ABC Family Channel. I like Chris Parnell and Cheryl Hines, and I even laughed at something that Chicken Little kid from American Idol said in the trailer. I had high hopes, and I admit it.

I tuned in at eight pm, probably the only twenty-something to do so rather than just TiVo it and watch it in secrecy and shame sometime later. I tried to laugh. I even tried to find the love interest guy attractive-- and it worked at times, but only because in some lights and angles he resembled Kristoffer Polaha. But the result wasn't good. At all. I couldn't take Lohan seriously in this "adult" role. I couldn't believe she was put in charge of another human being, let alone a teenager who looked to be her exact age. I couldn't believe the situations or scenarios that just fell into her lap or when she actually started to do something right. I kept waiting for her to get caught downing a shot of vodka or doing a line of cocaine off her sad little wooden publishing desk.

The jokes were flat, and the actors mostly went through the motions, as if they could sense the impending shelf-life doom of this project. Though ABC Family is re-runing the movie on Thursday night-- probably hoping their low numbers had not to do with the fact that no one cares but that fewer people have actually have TiVos than they anticipated?-- I think you can just skip it and watch this condensed version instead. After all, it clearly illustrates the art imitating life of this movie, so at least there's that...


No comments: