A few days into the new year, and I am already making a lot of promises to myself about what I will and will not do for the next...well, now only 361 days. Here's what I'm hoping for in regards to celebs, TV shows, and characters:
1) No more sudden and "too soon" celebrity deaths. - 2009 brought more than enough of those-- from Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Patrick Swayze to Brittany Murphy. Already, things aren't looking good for Artie Lange, but let's hope he can pull through. I'm so sick of seeing tabloids take bets on who will and won't make it through the year!
2) The disappearance of Jon Gosselin, Tiger Woods' mistresses, and the Kardashians. - If magazines are still in existence by the end of the first quarter, it would be nice to see actual actors, actresses, singers, and maybe even models grace the covers again, instead of "reality" stars and those known simply for with whom they have had sex.
3) The slow deterioration of reality programming. - Okay, look, I'm a reality junkie, and I've never been afraid to admit it. The first step to recovering from addiction is admitting you have a problem, after all. However, lately the constant barrage of exploitative programming (all those millions of kids and counting shows, celebreality "in the home" shows) as well as installments in the teens of once unique competition programs (sadly even The Amazing Race makes the cut here) is simply turning into annoying filler. This is normal, according to the trend curve, and as reality is on a downward slope, that only gives new sell-out film students everywhere some extra time to pitch their own spins on previously done programs. But I say, in this new year and this new decade, let the downward slope be the decline of the genre in general. Keep around the handful of shows that are still fun, regardless of how many years they've been on (Survivor, American Idol) and ditch each and every other one.
There. I said it. I feel better. Also, let this act as my personal resolution to go the entire year without writing about reality television or its stars. No Real World: D.C. for me!
4) "Relapse 2" and "Detox" to finally drop. - And be of the caliber of "Marshall Mathers LP" or "Eminem Show" and "2001" for Em and Dre, respectively.
5) Ted finally meets The Mother. - I want this to happen mostly so the focus can shift away from this pretentious character's "mystery." Ted is everyone (at least everyone I know)'s least favorite character, but if the show has to be centered on him, I'd like the writers to actually have to work a little harder. I want to see him interact with the woman we know he will end up with to see exactly what about him she falls in love with. Because so far, I just don't get it.
6) Julie Benz lands a comedy*. - She was great on The Soup, playing fake drunk and upset over her Dexter character's demise. She excels at lighthearted material, and Rita was so poorly written it was hard to watch her, even though Benz as an actor is very talented. I'd like to watch her in something enjoyable to prove that it was Rita, and not Benz, that was so whiny and obnoxious!
* This one appears to have already been done, as she will be appearing on Desperate Housewives.
7) A sequel to Mean Girls gets started. - I would love it even more if it was Mean Girls for the Golden Girls set and starred Maggie Griffin. And if Tina Fey would write it and hire me as her assistant. Or as a co-writer. But maybe I shouldn't push my luck.