Thursday, May 13, 2010

DanielleTBD's LOST Experiment: Day Five...

Day Five. Log.

Episodes watched: 19.5 today / 78.5 total
Episodes to go: 19.5
Pints of ice cream eaten: 1 + 1 frozen coconut bar

Previously on DanielleTBD's LOST experiment: Rose and Bernard finally got a back story episode! Desmond got transported back to England for a spot to realize that he has a past connection with at least one of the people on the island. Kate and Sawyer got it on while being trapped in the Others' cage. Ben got operated on by Jack and Juliet. Hurley got the island to have a little bit of fun. Sayid, Kate, Locke, and Rousseau got halfway to storming the Others' camp before realizing they may have to change their strategy. I, on the other hand, just got dizzy.

I'm beginning to have a problem with the lack of "Lord of the Flies" attitude among the people of this island. There's a lot of pointing guns at each other, creasing brows questioningly, trying to figure out who the "good guys" are, when really in such a situation, one would shoot first and ask questions later (if at all). I can't quite ascertain if the show is trying to make a statement about the true measure of a good man being one who has morals about killing fellow men, even when in certain, seemingly dire situations, or if this is a simple suspense plot device. But knowing that I haven't even gotten to the Nikki/Paulo back story episode yet-- and knowing how much everyone hates that/them-- I would love to time travel onto this island, grab a rifle, and just start picking people off.

- Knowing that Michael Emerson was originally hired only for a few short episodes but the producers expanded his character when they saw what a great guy and a great talent they had on their hands, I wonder at what point he was supposed to be written out initially. There have been so many moments already where he could have easily been killed off! And I'm really glad he wasn't.

- Damn, the Others have a pool table!? That trumps ping-pong any day!

- No, Jack; you don't put your fate on Kate's head. It is not her fault you always have to be the hero. It is not her fault you always have to fix things, even when they're not really broken but simply you just don't understand them. It is not her fault you failed.

- Ben has a plan for everything. So far he controls everything. So why didn't he change Alex' name?

- Locke's PT nurse is cute, but he has that "dead eye" syndrome that I never thought I'd see working on television except for on Supernatural.

- Wow, the realism in the Nikki/Paulo back story episode is as lackluster as the writing. When they call cut on the "Expose" film set, the camera assistant slates right-side up instead of tails. As savvy as this audience is and they try to pull this over them? Lame.

- Ashes are evidence, Nikki, but so are fingerprints...idiot.

- No, Sawyer, we don't have to find out everything about these two; we could just bury them or toss them out to sea. If you spent two months with them and never got to know them, that should tell you something, and you should just leave it be. No need to do anything that might lead to regrets.

- I have a lot to say about an episode everyone hated, apparently. Paulo is a terrible judge of character (Nikki/Ethan), but he has some good common sense about dangerous areas/things (i.e: the plane stuck in the tree). I just don't understand the need for this island recap episode, especially because we know so much more about so many other things now, that what is being recapped here really isn't even relevant anymore for going forward, and nothing ever gets accomplished by going backwards...especially if it means treating Sawyer like a bad guy again.

- I really love that "Walking After Midnight" song but admit I don't quite see the relevancy of it as a motif.

- Ooh, it's "Strangers at a Gas Station" with Sawyer's mark and fugitive Kate!

- Okay which Comic Con nerd wrote the "wet girls wrestling in the dirt" scene?

- The sound the black smoke makes every time it rips through the jungle is slightly different. It started out animalistic and barbaric and over time became slightly prehistoric and mechanically screechy at the same time. If the threat has always been the same: a cloud of black smoke whipping through the trees, then the changing noises seems like just an arrogant fake-out from the writers so no one could guess their precious secrets. With so many things for the audience to try to figure out, they couldn't have just given us this one? It's disrespectful otherwise, and I'm growing increasingly frustrated with how dumb they treat the audience.

- Juliet does not have a gift for creating life where it wasn't supposed to be; she upset the natural order of life by doing so. I'm greatly surprised the island did not punish her sooner.

- I hate how everyone just bows to Jack. Sawyer was doing a fine job as "team leader" while he was away, but now that he has returned, everyone is just going to step aside and let him take some sort of pre-assumed rightful place. I hate how everyone asks him for permission for things, too. Juliet wasted precious minutes asking him if she could go to the caves to get her serum, and even though it sounds ridiculous that Claire would be going through withdrawal so late, she needed those precious minutes. Juliet should have just gone off on her own, gotten the stuff, and then convinced Jack to let her administer it.

- Ben had cancer because he's not a good person. The end. Good night.

- Desmond knows he is having flashes of the future. He can't quite put all of the pieces together yet about how or why, but he is aware of it. He also understands the concept of the universe's course correction. Yet he still tries to save Charlie time and time again. He knows it is fruitless, but he keeps doing it, kind of like pushing that stupid button. Poor Desmond was doomed from the start.

- Um, Hurley? I was with you for all the fun stuff of the last season, but you're stuck on an island: everything you guys are doing is camping. You're sleeping out under the stars and building fires every night. Though I did love Jin's scary story attempt.

- Sometimes the blues on this show (eyes, a shirt, the ocean) are just too unreal.

- The satellite phone that Desmond finds after the helicopter crash looks like a really old model (like first draft) iPhone! Steve Jobs steals from Charles Widmore!!

- I just had a United States of Tara "Who the f*ck are you?" moment when they pulled the helmet off the lady in the tree and it turned out to be some African American chick. I assume she doesn't live longer than three or four episodes.

- Did Man With Eyepatch end up in the temple pool of healing? Or was his electromagnetic death faked or exaggerated to get Locke to leave him alone in the jungle?

- Sure, there are polar bears and smoke monsters threatening safety but it's still a tropical island, and to me, that will never be hell but paradise.

- Oh, Sawyer, you really should shoot Seward or Sawyer or Cooper or whoever the hell the guy is first and then start reading him the letter. Remember what I said yesterday (Was it yesterday? This week feels like a month and a half. Now I know what it feels like to be my dog): shoot first, ask questions later! Still, with that outcome, I've never been more proud of you. If for no other reason than to get the old man to shut up; his accent (which I don't remember him having in previous episodes) was getting on my nerves.

- When Locke told Sawyer that Juliet was a mole and "they" would come into camp and round up the pregnant women, he used the plural form, as if Sun isn't the only one. I hope this wasn't a subtle way to implant the writers were considering making Kate pregnant. Because even if that thought only crossed their minds for a second, it was a really stupid thought.

- Of course it hurts, "Emily;" a person just shot out of you. If you're dying because the island won't let mothers live, you have to give a little bit more of a performance here.

- Locke, you sir are a cheater! You didn't kill your father. Ben said you could only come back if you killed him. I'd care more but Ben deserves to be lied to and manipulated. And also, I want to learn things about this island. It's only been sixty-something episodes!

- Where did these Apollo bars come from? I thought all Dharma food had to be stamped with generic Dharma packaging and logos? When the survivors found the chocolate in the jungle, I assumed it had come from someone else who made it to the island; I never thought I'd see it in the camp. Yes, these are really the things I think about in a show as vast and philosophical as LOST. I like chocolate. Maybe a little too much (obvs). Maybe that's what you should buy me for my birthday.

- How long are rabbits supposed to live?

- Ben is by far the most interesting character on this show. Because we see him as a child-- we see him as an innocent-- he is the only one who appears to have "turned" bad because of nurture (or lack thereof) and environmental factors. With all of the other characters thus far, we have seen them on one very specific path through very different, and often tumultuous, times in their lives. By having them always choose to react the same way regardless of circumstance, one would assume they were innately "good" or "evil." It would be in their nature-- in their fate or destiny. Not Ben. He is an anomaly. He is the most human. He is the most interesting.

- I had no idea Ben shot Locke on the island. It really is inevitable that not only will a person die on the island and off, but that it will be because of the same person that their fate is what it is. I didn't connect this at first, but in season six Sun gets shot (and we assume dies) because Jin and Sayid get mixed up in Keamy's butcher-kitchen. On the island, Sun drowns because Sayid takes the bomb and runs but doesn't make it off the sub. Even if it is always unintentional, Sayid's actions cause Sun's death. And drowning, Charlie's. Ben's, Locke's. Fascinating stuff...

- I thought that new girl was Italian. That is NOT an Italian accent.

- It's terrible watching an entire episode about a character waiting to die. Not just that we know he will die and have to wait to see it play out but also that he knows he will die and is waiting to see it play out. I was not really ready for this, even though I've been yelling "Not Penny's boat" whenever I get bored at a current scene.

- Oh, I've appeared to hit the flash forward episode. I think I shall consider this progress. Not for the show but for me and this experiment.

- Okay, how is Man With Eyepatch still alive? He was zapped by the weird magnetic fence thingy. He was beaten bloody and pulpy by Locke. He is an incidental, practically no-name character. Just get rid of him already! No need to keep track of all these extra bodies!

- Heh. "No one gets left behind." A timely thing to say considering the George Bush years and the fact that Ben clued Jack in that he had been elected again.

- Damn, a two-part finale? That messes up my schedule and my episode count!

- It's very rare that any character on television has my name, but it is somewhat fitting that the one who does is the one who doesn't want to leave the island because it's "[her] home now." And it never gets old answering the TV anytime one of the other characters calls her name.

- Greta and the other one holding Charlie appear to be the new Libby and Ana Lucia...

- Jack makes as many promises that he can't keep as this show in general. He doesn't get every one of his people rescued, and my guess is he never kills "Tom" either.

- That is inappropriate affect, sir, to be smiling when A) your friend is telling you that you're doomed because it's not Penny's boat and B) you know he's about to die.

- Jack is a douchenozzle: it shouldn't matter if Rousseau's message is still the one transmitting. It's a voice saying you're there and want to be rescued. Who cares if the voice that's heard is hers or yours? Stop needing to be a hero, Jack!! Hurley's the hero. Just leave it alone.

- Way to jinx it, Kate.

- If I had a golden pass to an airline, I'd fly to exotic places every Friday night, too-- just because I could. I love to fly, and I'd love be able to do it more often, but the flights-- not even the actual vacations, but just the means of getting to the destinations-- are so expensive! It might be time to reconsider getting my pilot's license.

- The fact that Jack, who was the one who was so adamant about getting everyone off the island in the first place, even to the point of being unable to hear reason and danger, is the one who is shouting "we have to go back" across a parking lot or whatever is absurd. He made a mistake-- hell, he made a lot of them-- but everyone else shouldn't have to suffer just so he can learn a lesson or two. He couldn't see the truth-- or he wasn't willing to look inside himself to see the truth-- that's his own sh*t. He jumps in with both feet without thinking, obsessively chasing the adrenaline high. He should just go off on his own and figure it all out. He's no good to anyone until he does.

- I like that Rousseau keeps hitting Ben. I don't understand why they never took her but only took her baby. If it's true that Juliet was testing mothers and doing experiments...and if it's true that pregnant women couldn't survive on this island, why did she? I never thought I'd say this, but I think it's time for her back story episode.

- Why, hello, Lance; I didn't know you were in this show!

- "George," on the other end of "Naomi"s walkie (if that is, in fact, their real names) is the worst voice-over actor ever. Everything he says sounds improperly and over-the-toply stretched, like a bad child actor from a nineties sitcom.

- Kate pretending Aaron is hers is the most ridiculous thing in the world. "No one will remember" she wasn't looking pregnant when she was on the news for being captured and then "killed" in a plane crash? Maybe. But we have this little thing called "photography" where in 2008 we can still see images from 2004 to confirm memories.

- Rose knows Locke has turned. It's not the Smoke Monster that created "Not Locke"-- not entirely. Or at least it didn't wait until he was dead to begin it's work.

- Hurley's lucky streak (if we can call it that) seems to have started not in the sideways world when the atom bomb changed the course of events but instead when he first got off the island (see: never missing a shot when he shoots baskets at the institution). I can't help but wonder, though, if he wanted to be locked up in such a place, why wouldn't he have just told the truth about the island? To an outsider, it would have sounded completely crazy and cause for committal.

- Daniel just seems to want friends so badly. He and his inadequacy issues fit right in with this group! Miles, on the other hand...

- Charlotte has weird teeth.

- Okay, LOST, I know most people gave up with you last season, but I'm about to write you off now. Because if this dude was supposed to have been flying 815 the day it crashed, it never would have crashed without him. Everyone who needed to be on the island needed to be on the flight for things to be properly set in motion. If he really needed to be there, the universe would have found a way for him to be on that plane. So either he's greatly mistaken, or there is a big hole in this plot, and I am only willing to suspend my disbelief so much.

- I can't call myself a native of California after living here for eight years, but Juliet gets called a native of the island after only three? I call bullshit!

- A man on their boat, Ben? I would have preferred you said you, too, were having flashes of the future. Because again, I am only willing to suspend my disbelief so much-- not just about the mysticism of the universe surrounding the island but also about how much power one man can have. I call double bullshit!

- Heh. "You're not the best candidate for this kind of mission, Jack." Couldn't have said it better myself, Sayid.

- There's no suspense that Sayid is now working for Ben because we know his voice the minute we hear it as he begins to sew up his bullet wound. And again can I point out that there is a HOLE in Sayid's arm??

- Reading opening credits can really ruin surprises of who (old and new characters)'s to come!

- Locke telling Ben to re-read a book because he might catch something different the second time is more of that cocky writer-God syndrome. So many I know plan to watch the series again, from the beginning, after the finale airs to see if it all adds up. Here the writers seem to be daring people to try such a feat.

- I'm not sure why the "people" think Kate would be a flight risk. She was in a terrible plane crash. I would assume she'd never want to fly again!

- Claire's still here??

- I'm sorry, did Locke stuff a grenade in Miles' mouth? Where would one even get a grenade on this island??

- Good God, how long did it take for Kate's trial to finally close? Aaron has gotten so big!

- Rescue appears to be relative on this show. You can move from one location to another, but your problems and issues are always going to follow you.

- I like that though everyone else is having flash forwards in this season, Desmond doesn't because he can't: his whole life he has been flashing sideways, so why should now be any different? Then again, one could say if you don't have any flash forwards, it means you have no future; you're dead. But those who say that have been watching the wrong show.

- Crazy is relative reason #144: when people are going through rough times in their lives-- abuse, war, whatever, they often "go" somewhere else in their mind. They escape to a safe zone in order to salvage a part of their sanity. Who's to say if they make up where they go, if they dive into a memory, or if they truly transport their spirit? Desmond is actually going somewhere else when one part of his life gets too rough for him to handle. Unfortunately for him, he usually ends up going somewhere "worse." Maybe that's what was happening to the "Others" who were getting "sick;" maybe they were just remembering.

- I know Keamy is a bad dude in the sideways world of season six. So I assume he's a bad dude in this world, as well...

- So, Desmond is NOT the constant that matters; Penny is. After all, it's hard to care about Daniel when he is the reason for a good chunk of this trouble (or so it seems right now at least). The merchandise should reflect as much. But in any case, the Desmond episodes are the best!

- Who was shipping make-up onto the island for Juliet? And why?

- It's never a good thing when the person who claims he's trying to save everyone looks surprised when he actually succeeds (even momentarily).

- Who gets into a cab with a giant panda in it? You know that's already reserved! Even in New York, people aren't that bitchy.

- I think we're more than past Jin and Sun's relationship drama. I don't think it's necessary to do an episode at this point about something as petty as an affair. There was almost just a chemical gas explosion or whatever, and yet they're concerned over some dude who isn't even on this island-- let alone on Earth-- anymore? After everything they've already gotten past...? I guess we're hitting another slow patch, which is kind of ridiculous considering they know when their end date is!

- "I made dinner." One of the best things a husband can say, let alone a husband who has never spoken a full sentence in English. Well played.

- If Jin "died" in the plane crash, how come no one wonders how Sun got pregnant?

- Hi Kevin, it's nice to meet you. And it's nicer to see there really is loyalty left in this crazy, f*cked up world. And he didn't complain about being a "Work Man," unlike that ingrate, Roger.

- There's a lot of "you're lucky to be alive" going around on this show. I respectfully disagree.

- The reporter who breaks the story about 815 is looking too high. No teleprompter is above natural eye-line.

- Also, why does it matter that Zeke or Tom or whatever his name is is gay? Just because he made that one comment once about Kate not being his type? Kate has to be everyone's type unless they're gay? How is this relevant?

- If I were Michael, I would never have brought that photo on board. Or a least I wouldn't leave it out, framed, where anyone who walks into his cabin can find it. It makes him vulnerable. Of having something to lose but also of someone finding out who he really is.

- Man, Ben really loves his lists! He must have uber-Google in order to figure out who is "good" and who is not.

- Grant Bowler is yummy.

- I knew Ben was going to kill Carl because I heard he had killed Alex. I said "Can we do that now?" And the arrow pierced his water bottle. Then it pierced his chest. Why can't the things I ask for in my own life happen that quickly??

- Saying "They're here" with suspenseful music would be a lot scarier if we had any idea who "they" are. Random dudes in army pants? We've seen way worse. And speaking of, where/why is the smoke monster hiding through all of this? Is it one of those things where it only steps in to "thin the herd" when it has to because humans do a good enough job of taking each other out most of the time?

- Why doesn't that baby ever have any clothes on??

- A couple of notes about this random village attack: first, it's kind of like Right At Your Door, which no one saw and which is now being remade. Second, how is busting a window to let Sawyer in better than moving furniture to get the door open? Can't exactly board up said window after... And third, if you've already busted the window, why waste time moving furniture to open the door for Miles. Inconsistent!

- What the f*ck did Ben expect? Keamy kills people like they're flies. Did he really think lying about her importance would spare her? His voice was quavering like he hoped so, but come on!

- I never thought I'd say this about anything, but thank God for the strike season!

Verdict so far: I don't want to know what Desmond did in a past life to be burdened with such a fate!

Current lingering question: How could Miles exist twice in the same "universe?" If he time traveled back to when he was a baby-- not just his consciousness but actually him, especially-- how could he look in a window and see himself as a baby? Shouldn't the universe implode? Everything else in pop culture (and you know, quantum physics or whatever) says yes.

Current theory: I'm not going to make my date.

If this were any other night but Thursday, with this so soon to the end of the experiment, and so many more episodes left unwatched, I would push through primetime programming. But it's the Supernatural season finale tonight, and there is no way I'm missing that.

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