Friday, May 14, 2010

DanielleTBD's LOST Experiment: The Finale...

Day Six. Log.

Previously on DanielleTBD's LOST experiment: We started flashing forward, and some on the island started (or at least started realizing they were) time-traveling. Michael returned as a spy for Ben on Widmore's boat without Walt, who had hit puberty, which can't happen because they were supposedly only gone for a few months, and apparently one can't age while on the island anyway. Jack, Kate, Hurley, Sun, Sayid, Aaron, and Ben left the island at a still unknown point, but they "have to go back." Also, we learned the Smoke Monster cleans up messes by killing the rogue "bad guys" and Ben does have some semblance of a heart. I stopped watching in mid-episode, which is probably blasphemy to the diehard fans, but I imagine a lot of what I'm saying and doing this week is angering them, so...

Last day. Took a shower when I awoke to feel refreshed and awake for what I am about to embark upon. Have three conference calls this morning, so it's a good thing there is no Friday primetime television I usually watch. Hoping to get through all of what I have left by 10 p.m...maybe some of it will be screened by the pool as it is another b-e-a-utiful day!

- When/why did Jack start waxing his chest? These are the things I focus on...

- With both Jack and Claire sick at the same time, I'm beginning to wonder if it's a genetic disease that's just setting in/being triggered at the most inopportune of times...

- My eyes hurt. I really wish Jin and Sun would speak in English now that they both can-- and now that they both know each other can. It really doesn't make sense that they still speak Korean all of the time, especially when around the others who they supposedly trust, or from whom they may need to prove trust. And it's too much for me to have to still read subtitles.

- Just once I would like a character on a television show see the engagement ring in the box, start crying, and just say "Oh, honey-- no."

- Too early for a surgery scene! I never wanted to skip any part of this show during my experiment, but I had to this time. Because it wasn't your basic surgery anyway; Jack was awake, and as I mentioned a few days ago, that is my nightmare!

- Is John's mom named Emily also Ben's mom named Emily? It's another interesting parallel any which way you cut it, especially that the "chosen one" status has now been temporarily passed, and especially with the whole brother v. brother aspect. She easily could be the same woman seeing as how we met them both at drastically different stages/ages in their lives. Plus both women delivered prematurely...Or, wait, Locke's mother was still alive when that whole kidney thing went down, huh? Maybe that woman wasn't really his mother but some woman Anthony Cooper put up to the con...

- It always confuses me when little kids say no or shake their head when someone asks if they would mind if they do something. Are they saying that no, they don't mind, or are they saying, no, I don't want to do that something?

- If Richard ruled out John, why did Jacob think differently? And if he ruled him out once, why would he give him a second chance? We are who we are, and there's a vast difference between what we can't do and what we can't be. Assumedly, Jacob sent Richard on this reconnaissance mission to gather intelligence since he (at that point) couldn't leave the island. Or he left the island by channeling through Richard? It's a bit unclear because I thought if Jacob's purpose was to protect the island he wouldn't be able to leave it...but he leaves it later to "touch" each one of his candidates. And if he can leave, then why does he need Richard at all?

- These messengers of the island, like Richard or Lance Reddick, are able to pop up in any profession in which they need to be in order to meet those they need to meet. I don't know how they have the credentials to bounce from field to field. Lord knows, I can't even find a job in my chosen profession, let alone in another specialized one in which a special degree, skill, or talent is necessary! Maybe I should go on a walk-about. But I'm going to start with the sweat lodge because it's less taxing...and less expensive.

- Oh look, it's the Temple of Doom...

- I not-so respectfully disagree, Dr. Drunk: those questions do matter. They matter because right now very specific things that were set up early on appear to be being overruled. Like if Claire is supposed to raise Aaron-- if the island and Jacob and whoever else set wheels in motion for her to crash on the island to give her the greatest chance of that-- why did she leave the baby in the jungle to follow her dead dad? And if he is channeling Jacob, or in touch with Jacob or whatever, then why is he saying the baby is where he should be? And why does he get to be in touch with Jacob anyway? Is he the Shepherd that is on the list, not Jack? His body had to be on the plane, after all...Maybe it's just too early in the morning for this show!

- Of course you want to talk to the press, Jack. Ugh. I'm glad Matthew Fox doesn't want to do TV anymore because I don't think I could watch him in anything for a good long while.

- If you're that desperate to get off the island, Daniel, just start swimming.

- I wonder how the Oceanic "Six" picked the other three survivors' names they killed off in their invented story about finding the emergency exit and surviving on cushions and life jackets until the current washed them on land. I guess Libby and Charlie make sense, both because of the personal connection and the fact that Charlie surviving-- at least for a little while-- would make another good news story. Personally I wouldn't have picked Boone, but maybe that's just me.

- That's a lot of stairs for a pregnant lady, Sun. All that money, all that opulence, and the company has an office in a building with no elevator?? And wait, who is this other person Sun is blaming for Jin's death? She doesn't know about Jacob...does she?

- Island paradise, really, Hurley's mom? That's your idea of a fun party experience!?!

- Oh wait a minute, Claire's mom miraculously got better. Jacob gives people the thing they want most when they agree to help him. Shepherd still hasn't been crossed off Jacob's list. Is the true candidate Claire?? In the season six episode of that title, she is the one left behind with Locke hen everyone tries to escape in the explosive sub.

- Ben's instructions to Locke are very specific. I would need a printed copy to remember them all, and in the right order.

- Weak sauce grenade, Keamy! I don't even think that guy flew five feet in the air; he can't possibly be dead. But his showdown with Sayid was inevitable in both worlds and kind of made up for it, even if hand-to-hand wasn't the most realistic option either.

- Seriously, how does Michael Emerson make his eyes so big??

- How will LOST writers explain Walt's SORAS? Oh that's right, they won't, because that's "not a problem the candidates would care about."

- I don't like what the show is saying about people who fail at missions that are bigger than themselves. When Ben wasn't right for Jacob, Jacob didn't cast him aside, but the knowing he wasn't good enough turned him to a dark side-- one that also makes Locke susceptible to the Smoke Monster. It's the two extremes: it's black or white, and this show doesn't allow them to find a way to live in the gray area. But real life is all about that gray area.

- Why is Daniel still wearing that stupid skinny tie??

- Really, Locke, you don't know what kinds of experiments Dharma was performing after all of this time and seeing a handful of orientation videos? You think now is the best time to pause for another one?? What happened to you!?!?

- Why doesn't that helicopter have full and complete sides? After everything these people have been through, the last thing they need is to take a sharp left and fall from the sky...again.

- Keamy is like a bad horror movie villain with his gimpy leg dripping blood, to his expositional monologue as he hunts for his victim. And then there's the resemblance to Ray Liotta. Kevin Williamson should put him in Scream 4.

- If I cared about Charlotte, I'd care (and wonder) why she has been trying to find this island and why she now wants to stay. But I don't. Nor do I have the strength or energy to question how she could have been born on this island or to whom. I don't believe that will ever be answered anyway, since if I don't care, those who have been on this island for two months certainly don't care. Hell, some of them haven't even met her!

- Sayid's walking around a mental hospital with his gun flapping openly at his side. He fits right in.

- And oh Hurley, you know why he re-named himself. Anyone who was not an official Oceanic Six could not reveal who they really were...even with a name already so seemingly fake.

- No way anyone heard Desmond say anything. Helicopters are LOUD. But the wild waving of his arms certainly weren't a "Welcome; come give me a hug" motion!

- There was a random deckhand mopping when the helicopter was landing. No one worries-- or even wonders-- what happened to him. They just pile in, ready to leave him without a care in the world.

- Sun should have reached across Desmond, Kate, and the baby and scratched and clawed Jack's eyes out for his insensitive and condescending "He's gone; Jin is gone."

- I guess if man is an island, man should also be able to move one. But all I can say is: "Really, LOST; really?"

- I thought the time travel thing only involved consciousness. But somehow Locke and Ben seem to have teleported off the island. And so a whole new series of questions is raised...

- I'm really glad the show didn't separate Rose and Bernard again when the island moved. That would have been a really douchey thing to douchey as trying to run when you have a child. Take note, Kate!

- Daniel just won points from me for refusing to give Sawyer a shirt. He's pretty. Shirtless Sawyer always equals a good time.

- So shouldn't Ethan remember Locke when he later infiltrates the survivors' camp??

- No Hugo, I eat a TON of comfort food, and sometimes I still want to shoot people. Like right now. I could kill a few choice people from this show if given the opportunity. We are who we are; we do what we do. You're just a better person.

- I told you I loved Hurley! Because he loves Shih Tzus.

- Everyone gets so excited about people pushing stupid buttons on this show. First Desmond in the hatch, now Kate and Aaron in the elevator.

- Sun thinks you're a mother, Kate. Apparently she's wrong.

- So...all the blanks I have in my childhood-- does that mean someday I will wake up and remember random things? Like they're only blanks now because the thing hasn't actually happened yet? Because someone in the future has to time travel back to make it happen and then I'll remember it? No? Too much?

- No, I'm sorry, teenage girl: I don't believe the US Military knows how to speak Latin.

- But you didn't tell Richard where in Tustin you were born, Locke. Tustin ain't that small!

- Huh, I'd have figure'd you'd know how to freeze time, Ben. Even Zack Morris could do that.

- Do they make "I'm a Sawyer/I'm a Kate/I'm a Jack" tee-shirts the way they did for the ladies of Sex and the City? And if so, do they make "Kate is my constant" or whoever equivalents to pair with them?

- Jin is having a hell of a week. He just learned to speak English so he could communicate with his group, and now he finds himself once again surrounded by those who speak a different language. Oh yeah, and he was almost blown up, and now he's in the eighties. The late eighties. ::shudder::

- So if young Rousseau met Jin "back in the day," once again, why didn't she remember him later? I know there's a lot going on on that island, but I find it hard to believe it would just slip her mind. And is the "sickness" simply the flashes that come with the occasional nosebleed? It seems a bit extreme to kill everyone you knew and maybe even loved just for that. Especially because if they were having nosebleeds, they would have died on their own eventually anyway.

- The way Sawyer tries to explain time travel to Jin is the way I feel this show is explaining it to the audience. We are not stupid!!

- I've been waiting for Charlotte to die almost as eagerly as I was awaiting Boone and Shannon to. I feel like I could have skipped these scenes and saved myself about sixteen minutes that I will surely want at the end of the day to watch something fun-- like last night's 30 Rock or The Office, which I sadly haven't seen yet.

- Those swinging pendulum things weren't cool when my elementary school would go on field trips to science and history museums, and they're still not cool, even in LOST.

- I believe Eloise when she says that the equations can provide where the island will be at a given point in time. Because of course the island moves: the Earth moves. But if man can manipulate the island and move it in some other way, then that equation should not work at all. And why does the island need to hide from Eloise?

- Also, you'll never be able to recreate the circumstances that brought the Oceanic Six to the island. They have gone through too much and are all in different states now. Even if you can get the same bodies on the plane, that's just physicality, and we all know that bodies don't mean much in this world. Besides, they leave Aaron behind (because who in their right mind wouldn't??), and that is their greatest failure.

- SAID F-ING TAGHMAOUI!!!! Oh man, I'm sure he dies a horrible, and early episodic, death, but I'm just happy to see him for however short a time it will last!

- I reiterate: Hurley is the only truly "good" one!

- I know it's been three years, but when all of the remaining passengers of a plane crash reunite on another plane, shouldn't someone notice-- an airline official checking their names off the reservation list, a flight attendant who has seen their faces on the news countless times over the years, etc? And when that sucker crashes, it's going to be an even worse PR nightmare. This is why our airlines are majorly failing!

- The last scene of episode "316" should have been the season five opener. It was confusing, especially out of context, but they could have explained it through usual flashback episodes, rather than devoting a whole episode to the concept, execution, and details of how this show believes time travel to exist. Forget that I wanted to get rid of Charlotte sooner, but moreover, I don't think we needed to waste time with the constant flashes once we knew what they were. Seeing people in the past after the whole pendulum discussion and the previous Desmond episodes would have been sufficient. We are not stupid.

- Is anyone on this show capable of telling the truth? Even once? I mean, besides Hurley?? Look, when all is said and done (hopefully today, but a lot can change in a mere few hours...), I'm not going to have the energy to, or perhaps even the interest in, comprise an articulate argument for Hurley as the last standing candidate. But if you go back and look at all of my notes from the last six days, you'll see why I think-- and hope-- it's him. And why I think the show has set it up that it has to be him-- if Jacob is truly the "good" one after all, anyway.

- I lost track of how many times Jack is wrong. It would make an interesting drinking game. If I drank. Maybe I should have played with bites of cupcakes. That would have made this week more fun, and I don't think I would feel any sicker at the end of the week.

- If I broke as many promises to my dog as these people do to each other, he would have every right to kill and then eat me as I sleep.

- I think I like Sawyer because he reminds me of Dean Winchester. "Son of a bitch!"

- Of course you lost power; you flew into the past, and your engines and mechanics probably hadn't even been invented yet.

- I guess Jin is the Kwon candidate. Otherwise Sun would have joined him in the past, with everyone else. That's kind of unfortunate. I was hoping it would be her; in so many other cases on this show, it was up to the women. It would have been a nice statement to keep consistent.

- Also, how convenient is it that Jack and company make it back to the island on the same day the submarine is returning? Oh, that's right; there is no such thing as convenience-- not in this world anyway, but for the writing staff, well, they created something pretty damn convenient for them!

- This thing with Little Sayid and the chickens is dumb. Same thing, different animal as what happened with young Mr. Eko.

- Little Ben is just as creepy as grown-up Ben, which seems a disservice to the character. I'd like to see him become that way, and thus far a drunk father doesn't seem enough to make him so.

- Horace put the emphasis on the wrong syl-LA-ble when he said "infiltrate." That's almost as bad as not knowing the difference between "your" and "you're." He must die.

- I understand that Ben can't die in the past-- well, actually I don't really understand why that it is. Originally this show was leaning toward the Back to the Future line of thinking that you have to be really careful not to step on a beetle or make out with your mother in the past because it will completely change the course of events for the future. But now Daniel told everyone it doesn't matter what they do because everything is locked in. Back-peddling and surrealism? No, thanks! But regardless, if Sayid wanted to try to kill Ben, he should have aimed for the head or the heart-- not the shoulder!

- I never realized so much of this show was about waiting for the characters to catch up to where the audience is, in terms of knowledge about what's going on in their (each other's) lives.

- Hurley asks all the same questions I do. He's the only smart one.

- The "monster'"s judgment, as well as the Others "saving" Ben but stealing his innocence all adds up nicely. Things are making a lot more sense now that I'm watching everything fall into place.

- Ben going back to his childhood home to "summon the monster" has a nice little ring of Stephen King's "It" in there. But unfortunately here, too, we know there actually is a monster, not just a metaphor for abuse of an adult or community.

- Widmore shouldn't have to point out that you can't fight what's inevitable. That's the definition of the word.

- Oh this moment with Ben in the temple's like Moses with his stick...or schtick.

- How is Balding Glasses Guy still alive? And if Miles knows the dude didn't really fall into a ditch, why does he feel the need to prove it?

- Ooh the dead guy died because a magnet pulled his fillings out and up through his head. This is a nice set-up for the hatch implosion later on-- well, later on in years; we've already seen it play out, of course.

- Um, Miles, your dad didn't leave; he died. You know the Dharma Initiative is doomed, right? And you chose to join them anyway. So maybe you do want to get to know your dad. Maybe you're just afraid of what might happen if you do and then lose him again.


- With all of these people saying they're from the future, you'd think these Dharma people would start building a mental institution on this island. Or toss them into the "quarantined" hatch.

- Heh. Sawyer called Daniel "Twitchy" while I've been thinking of him as the Tweak of this ragtag island South Park gang-- for no real obvious reason.

- The code for the fence really should have some relation to Hurley's numbers, don't you think? Simply for his "Of course it is" head-shaking, eye-rolling moment.

- What is up with all the recapping within the episodes, LOST?? WE ARE NOT STUPID.

- It's never a good sign when a character second-guesses himself. Even if you-- the audience-- were doubting the character's thoughts, actions, or beliefs, it is not until that character himself starts to that gives the definitive answer that he was right all along. After all, second thoughts are just there to confuse us. They are 'second' for a reason. We all need to learn to trust our instincts implicitly, even through the rough patches-- and inevitably there will be many rough patches.

- I guess it's a good thing that Eloise shoots Daniel in 1977. It shows us that mothers can doom us, too, making this show a little bit more equally-opportunity in the "screwing over our family" capacity.

- Define how things are "supposed to be," Jack, as if you have a clue!

- Why we must always call Richard-- err, I mean, Richard Alpert-- by his full name?

- Kate's snark toward Jack in the aptly titled "Follow the Leader" is PHENOMENAL! But I still wish she had called him out about always being wrong when he said he wasn't this time.

- The smugness of these so-called "leaders" (Jack, Locke, Ben) will never fail to amuse me.

- Um, Jacob, if it means a handsome stranger will come along and buy me whatever it was that I wanted in the first place, then yes, I will be stealing time and time again!

- By the way, it took a much longer time to finally introduce Jacob than I ever imagined it would. Poor Mark Pellegrino: always only pushed in for the final few minutes of a hit (and rabid, culty fan-driven) show.

- Does how late in their lives Jacob appears to "touch" them have anything to do with how high on his list they may be? If he visits them when they are already grown-- like with Jack or Locke-- does that mean it took them a much longer time to prove themselves "ready" even for consideration? Or does he just go to them when they're at their most vulnerable?

- I've been thinking a lot lately-- from well before I started this experiment-- about fighting for something even when everything around you is telling you that you can't have it. When I was younger, I was a fighter. I would kick and scream and tear sh*t up to get what I wanted, get my voice heard, and make my mark in the process. As I've gotten older-- for one reason or another-- I've pulled back a lot, figuring all the fighting was futile, not wanting to get caught up in drama or confrontation or complication. The funny thing is, though, that my stance on destiny and fate has never changed: I've always believed in it. And I'm not any less stubborn than I ever was. Some may say I lost my spirit and given up-- grown complacent-- and these are all fair criticism. They're all things I've thought myself from time to time, but really, when I really think about it, what I think has changed is the desperation. And when I watch Jack, I see the desperation bubbling up so high in him I don't know how he, himself, doesn't explode. And I just want to slap some sense-- or at least some maturity-- into him.

- It's really hard, for a number of reasons, to watch a two-part episode that you know the exact end to because they replayed it during the first five minutes of the new season's premiere. I guess this is what it's like to come full-circle, in a way. I don't feel like Juliet's story is truly done yet. But maybe that makes her death the most successful: she leaves us when we still like her, when we still want her around. She doesn't overstay her welcome (*cough, Shannon, cough*), and we are truly sad when she is gone. I look forward to seeing her again in a flash sideways, which I have been calling "the real world" all throughout season six.

Final Stats:
Episodes watched: 19.5 today / 98 total
Episodes to go: 0 - I did it. Heh. I F-ING DID IT!
Pints of ice cream eaten: 1 + 2 frozen coconut bars

Verdict: Everything I initially thought about this show, having only seen bits and latter pieces still rings true now that all of the holes have been filled in, and the puzzle is complete, but for two or three right around the corner. I like being right. I wasn't right about everything, though: I enjoyed the show more than I though I would-- though there were still definitely elements (and characters!) that drove me nuts, those that bored me, and those that made me roll my eyes. I look forward to watching the finale with some diehard "LOSTies," to whom I can turn once the end title card fades up, and ask if it was all worth it. I will be able to formulate a semi-educated opinion now, but it will mean oh, so much more coming from those who devoted six years, rather than six days to the series, its characters, and its philosophies.

And believe it or not, now I have to go watch this week's season six episode. I hear next one's a doozy, and I definitely want to be one hundred percent caught up and "in the know;" can't let anything slip now, so close to the end!

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