Monday, November 7, 2011

"Spinster Activities In Which I Revel"...

I used the term "not full spinster" entirely seriously in an email to a friend recently. For the record, yes, I was describing myself, and yes, I was using the term to be a complimentary description... And that alone has inspired today's list: "Spinster Activities In Which I Revel"-- which, really, should be self-explanatory...

Bubble baths and bathrobes. The three Bs? Maybe not officially-- especially not for Jack Donaghy-- but it works for me! When the weather gets cool, there is a chill in my apartment (yes, I said "chill" and not to mean "to veg out" and therefore another item to add to this list...), and I happily slip on a giant terrycloth robe. It is not a shortie robe-- it is not sexy at all-- and I have absolutely no qualms about answering the door for the FedEx guy in it. Also, when the weather gets cool, I take an average of four bubble baths per weekend-- that's right: one Friday night, one Saturday morning, one Saturday evening, and another around mid-day on Sunday. I really know how to splurge!

Adopting the phrase "I'm not wearing my glasses." Anyone who looks at my face-- or yours-- can plainly see if we're wearing a pair of glasses, but I almost feel the need to apologize for it when someone asks me to read a store name that's a block or so away or when someone waves at me from afar, and I have to squint and do the sad little half-wave back because I'm not sure if the person is someone I actually know and therefore really is waving at me or simply someone in my general vicinity.

And on that note, I still wear glasses; I refuse to get contacts. I don't like this going in my eye.

Still watching live TV. This is a big one. You may recall from my pop culture memoir that I had a whole chapter about why I don't have a DVR in my house. You may have thought I was exaggerating for effect. I was not. That book was written two years ago and published one year ago, and I still don't have a DVR. I am quite proud of sticking to my guns-- and to tradition. If only I was a Nielsen family!

I have started drinking tea. This may not seem like much to you, but I always vehemently hated tea unless it was Arizona Iced Tea with lemon or Starbucks' Sweetened Tazo Tea Lemonade that was so pumped full of sugar and fruit flavor you couldn't tell it's base was tea or coffee or urine. But lately I have found myself curious and when stumbling upon a box of tea bags my mother had left in my kitchen cabinet (and determining that even after about three years they had not yet expired), I tried it. I still needed to add sugar-- lots of sugar, but it was a start. I even went on to try Starbucks' Black Tea Lemonade (living on the edge here), which is significantly less sweet and actually leaves remnants of both drinks on my taste buds. And then there's Chick-Fil-A's Sweet Tea which I could literally drink by the giant Styrofoam bathtub they call a normal size fast food cup. Coming from the drive-thru with ice in it or slightly heatened up in the microwave, it is just delicious!

Select arts and crafts. In college I was really into scrapbooking. I loved printing out photos from parties, trips, and outings, and ordering Jolee's Boutique 3D stickers on eBay and creating elaborate story pages. It was not a cheap hobby. These days, though, I have moved on to an equally pricey, but somewhat more contained, craft hobby: working with miniatures. I always found fascination in tiny things, and lately I have turned my attention toward replicating my current life in 1/12 scale.

Mahjong. I mean, I play on my iPhone and with the tiles decorated by vintage movie posters and cereal boxes, but still, isn't this the kind of thing you remember hearing your grandmother talk about? Because I know mine sure did.

Along those lines: crossword puzzles. Though my own grandmother was partial to the Jumble, so at least I feel a little better about my choices at this stage in my life...

Wanting all the dogs. I know the old saying is "crazy cat lady" but I'm allergic to cats, and quite frankly I think hoarding animals of any kind could apply. I've always preferred the company of dogs to people (sorry, people!), but it is definitely getting worse as I get older. I see dogs in the park with "Adopt Me" bandanas and want to take them all home and live in some weird menagerie where I have a dog for every cuddly need: footrest, pillow, body warmer (on either side of me), lap dog, etc. Since it's just me and Madison now, I always think about what we're doing for major holidays as a "we" and plans are made based on where he is and is not allowed. For example, I've always wanted to spend Christmas Eve in a hotel getting pampered with an in-room massage, room service for dinner, and eating chocolates while watching crappy old Christmas movies on TV. But not every hotel allows pets, so my original choice for where this would take place (most likely this year) had to go. I don't care that in the eyes of the law pets our property; this little guy is my family!

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