Monday, November 28, 2011

Pet Peeves and Grievances...

My New Year's resolution this year is going to be to try to see the positive side to things. I want to see if life is better, or if I feel healthier, for seeing the glass as half-full and whatnot. But there's still over a month to go before New Year's, so let me get my complaints out of my system now in this brand new list starring my greatest pet peeves!

Refusal to use the Oxford comma. Whether you're a student, a journalist, or just a lover of the English language, I don't understand why you butcher it so much! A well-placed comma changes a lot. See this diagram that my friend Hanh posted on her Facebook page and which started an uncomfortable trend of me red-penning major news outlets' articles.

Animals dressed as humans. Unless it's my dog Madison dressed in hoodie pajamas. That's just too darn adorable!

People who mass text on holidays. Chances are, if you're mass texting me, we haven't even spoken in months anyway. At that point there's no need to send some kind of generic greeting. I know it may seem like the polite thing to do, but to me it just reminds me how we can't bother to stay in touch for the majority of the year. Also, I'm pretty anti-texting in general, so it also reminds me how little you know me.

Complaining about where you live or what you do for a living. Unless you are an indentured slave or under the age of eighteen, no one is forcing you to be anywhere or do anything. It's not the easy thing to pick up and move to quit a potentially lucrative position, but if it doesn't make you happy, you kind of owe it to yourself to try something else. Or at least to make strides to change smaller, baby step changes. If you're not going to try, I certainly want you to keep your whining to yourself!

People who use speakerphone in public areas. How narcissistic and needy are you? Do you really want everyone to know your boyfriend is an ass/you're out of tampons/your bank account resembles that of a teenager with a comic book addiction/you can't remember if you took your birth control or just your vitamins today/you have a very emphatic point to make and you clearly think you're right but it's something no one could possibly care about and you're wrong anyway?

Automated services that don't get you to a representative the minute you press 0. Also, along these lines, having to punch in a whole bunch of information in order to even get to a representative, only to have the representative need you to repeat all of the information in order to pull up your account. Wasn't punching it in in the first place pulling it up on the back-end so when whoever picked up the phone, well, picked up the phone, they had a file open, too!?

Drivers who put their flashers on mid-way through changing lanes. Because usually they start coming into my lane before they even look, let alone give me a chance to get out of their way, and that ends up in them almost driving into the side of my car. "Am I dead? Do you not see me!?"

"Wash Me" notes on cars. If it's bugging you that a car is not as clean as you think it should be, no one's asking you to bust out a bucket and clean it yourself (though that would be a nice "good deed for a stranger" sure to help your karma), but you don't have be passive aggressive about it, either. The receivers of these notes aren't being helped (like they didn't know their car was dirty!) and most likely will be passing the bad mood you just gave them onto others after. It's a domino effect, and we should all be trying to pay forward positive things.

Answering texts or emails while I'm in the middle of telling you a personal story. It used to be that I would say "answering texts or emails while we're at lunch/coffee/dinner/drinks/a meeting/etc" together and leave it at that, but everyone has become so increasingly dependent on their electronic devices, it's an unrealistic expectation now to spend hours with someone and not expect them to glance at their screen a couple of times. No matter how good you may be at multitasking (and I should know; I'm the best), it just reminds me I'm not that important when you start looking at someone else's story while I'm in the middle of mine. Even if you don't get distracted, I do, and it changes the mood. It may be the new marker for relationships these days: when someone is so wrapped up in you they can keep their phone in their pocket or bag or on their coffee table, you should just go ahead and marry them!

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