Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Sh*t I've Taken To Buying Online...

There is a line in tonight's episode of Suburgatory that is meant as a random reference but really stuck with me when I pre-screened the episode. Dallas, played by Cheryl Hines, is eating a bag of chips at a salon with Tessa (Jane Levy), and tells her that you can now by Bugles online. She says it such an excited, innocent way, and she's not the type of character you imagine eats a lot of that kind of so-bad-it's-no-longer-on-shelves junk food anyway. But I connected with it further because I freakin' loved Bugles! I used to crush them up and put them in the middle of turkey sandwiches. I could not have been more excited to add that to my list of "Sh*t I've Taken To Buying Online."

. For some reason (I blame the "Extra Desserts" craze) it is increasingly harder to find spearmint flavored gum these days, let alone spearmint flavored whitening gum (I prefer Trident). Supermarkets and Targets all around me have just about every other flavor but never spearmint. Who says gum is just an impulse buy at the register!?

Pajama pants. Every Christmas I treat myself to a new pair of pajama pants. Not a full pajama set, mind you, just the pants. I prefer fleece, or some kind of warm cotton blend, and for the last three years I have selected a cupcake pattern as my design. They're my "opening presents on Christmas morning" pajamas. It's a whole lot easier to find the exact style and color scheme I want by searching a couple dozen links than by driving around to a couple of dozen different malls!

Deodorant. My mother used to work for Avon corporate headquarters. She got a crazy good discount on all of their make-up, body care, and random jewelry products. She would just call the guy who worked in the employee store anytime she or I needed a refill of anything. He'd charge her next to nothing, and when she still worked there, she'd just go down the few floors to pick it up. After she retired, he'd send it to our house. I don't still get the discount now that she has passed away, but I've gotten used to just being able to place the order and have it show up. Hence why I love the internet; it's like magic! And it means I can still cling to traditions and routines and comforts.

Benefit's Browzings. Why do cosmetics companies feel the insane need to change their product offerings about once a year? This was the perfect item to fill in my eyebrows (whenever I was younger and stressed-- or bored, really-- I would pull the hair from my eyebrows and eyelids the way some kids would suck their thumbs or bite their nails. Trichotillomania is a real thing; just ask Kathy Griffin's tour manager Tom! Anyway, they never grew back right, so now I've taken to enhancing). It comes with mini-tweezers and has the perfectly angled brush. I like the side by side of the two colors that, when mixed, suit my complexion almost as well as my actual natural hair color. But Benefit has changed its packaging to be snazzier. Now they're making their brow products smaller, more compact, and for different purposes (i.e. more of the shaping and less of the "creating something out of nothing"), so of course I have to find it on some weird wholesale site that still carries old items. But old is okay as long as it's never been opened, right?

Miniatures. The "I'm A Giant" blog challenge may be winding down, but my hunt for the perfect miniature accessories may be on-going, well, forever. Every time I get a new copy of Entertainment Weekly in the mail, I wonder for a moment if its cover is worthy of being immortalized in a teeny tiny version I keep in one of the baskets in my perfect office roombox. I still have a list of DVDs I want to commission in 1:12 scale. I'm still trying to find an individual who has a miniature Shih Tzu that doesn't look like it belongs walking a show floor instead of just rolling around on a regular floor. I still eBay search weekly just to see what else may be out there now that I didn't even consider.

Chocolate Coconut Water. My local Ralph's (which, it turns out is not actually even the closest Ralph's to my apartment, but just the one I have gotten used to patronizing) carries coconut water, but only select brands and select flavors. They got me hooked on the chocolate kind with a whole wall-sized display once and then never carried it again. It was the biggest tease, but it turns out that buying a case of the stuff in bulk online gets you cheaper prices per bottle, so take that, big chain grocery stores!

Marino's Italian Ices. In truth, I have yet to be successful at purchasing this. I tried to over the summer, finding the one dealer (that sounds wrong) that works with the company to ship them. They were listed as out of stock. Of course they were. Then I saw an Amazon Merchant seller offered them as well. Even though the only shipping possible was overnight, and it cost double what the actual ices cost, I placed an order. Only for it to be cancelled a few days later when the merchant notified me that they were unable to actually fulfill the order due to not having the stock. Lame! I guess I'll just try again next summer. And earlier in the summer at that. Like February. off to look for ice cream flavored Chupa Chups and a place that imports Canadian Smarties...

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