Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Tonight's TV Talk: Live-Blogging 'American Horror Story'...

TV Talk for Wednesday, December 14th 2011

Since "the most wonderful time of year" does not apply to television, the rerun extravaganza has already started, and I found myself with only one new episode of television to watch tonight. That is not to say that there is nothing else on, but nothing I would normally write about anyway. It was probably a good thing, considering I spent the majority of the evening eating my weight in sugar cookies at yet another holiday party ('Tis the season!!), but with only one show-- and one such crazy, complex show-- I wanted to take a detour from my usual stream of conscious paragraph-long (and long paragraph!) reviews and live-blog my thoughts on this one, along with a little wrap-up at the end end. After all, this is the only show I have had such a rocky relationship with and still kept on watching. I hated it in the beginning, then I loved it, then the love affair cooled down as things got a bit bi-polar again. But with only a handful of episodes left, and promising to spotlight the two women who truly make this show something great-- Connie Britton and Jessica Lange-- I think the season will end on a high note (at least for me). Let's see if my positive thinking proves correct...

American Horror Story (FX, 10pm) - S1, Ep11: "Birth"

- Oh look, it's the year I was born! I wonder Tim Minear (yea!) is trying to say to me. I like to think I'm a bit more stable than Tate, but I've never been tested like Tate has.

- By the way, baby Tate is the cutest ever. He looks like the big brother to Hope Chance. It's true what they say, you know: it's always the All-American types...

- Interesting turn of events, Nora. I was for sure that only ghosts could compel other ghosts with a simple "Go away." That's why I thought Tate was showing Violet the trick when he did: because she had ODed from pills. Of course, we weren't supposed to realize she was dead then. But we know now. So my theory could have held up. We don't need all this "explain-a-junk!"

- I still hate these opening credits. But not as much as I hate Homeland's opening credits. It's funny, though: the titles may be terrible, but the shows are SO DAMN GOOD. Puts into perspective what really matters.

- Weeks, Dylan McDermott. Tami Taylor has been in a psych ward for weeks. Yet she's about to have the baby. It's only been weeks since she got pregnant. I'd be super concerned about the health of the baby, even without assuming it's a devil-baby. Delivering at only three months gestated? I'm not a doctor, but that's not safe!

- I thought the idea of dying and being stuck wandering this world was purgatory, but I'm beginning to think dying and being stuck only within a house is hell. I get stir crazy after a few days; suddenly I understand Nora's insanity a bit more.

- Why is Zachary Quinto so sinister and predatory? Does he know who really killed him, and he's trying to turn on the tough guy act a bit late in the game?

- I do wonder why Constance allowed this house to get so damn crowded. All she had to do was drag bodies outside the property line. All she had to do was burn the bones. If she just wanted her family to stay with her, well, it's gotten a little crowded, don't you think?

- If you're going to keep your child "cute forever," don't you think the proper age would be like three or four? Already walking, potty trained, talking but not so much they talk back, etc? Jeez-ow, Zachary Quinto; use your head!

- So, Sarah Paulson, what you're saying is that you can't target ghosts to vanquish only select ones, like with Ghostbuster rays? Then I want a second opinion!

- Ben, what do you think happened to Violet? You watched her get in the car. Even if she tucked and rolled, you didn't hear the car-door slam. And you call yourself a doctor!?

- Whoa, hold the phone; Vivien is six months pregnant? I thought this show was taking place in real time, being only December, with conception in early fall? Things sped up fast since Halloween, it appears! At least the show cleared it up, I was starting to wonder why no one thought it was weird at how big she was. Even with twins.

- Question: Does anyone else think the human baby may end up eating the devil baby in utero and then be a devil baby of its own when it's born? I answer twisted shows with creeper, deeper twists.

- For real, Roanauk? I can just see Ryan Murphy nodding and forcing a smile along when this was pitched-- because he didn't know what it was and didn't want his staff to know he's inferior.

- "You know what you have to do." When Croatoan is involved, you call in the big guns: Dean Winchester!

- Aw man, I love Tate. Please don't vanquish Tate!

- Oh Teddy Sears, so sad. You're dead, and you still can't stand up to a teenage boy. Who, apparently, is about a 3 on the Kinsey scale.

- OMG Violet, go show Ben the body. It's the only way he'll believe. Just like you. Only this time it will be justified to see the body on-screen whereas last time it was just to account for the dumb portion of the audience.

- I'm super not interested in seeing a childbirth scene. Even if the babies were both going to be healthy and happy and have all of their fingers, toes, and humanity.

- Oh, yeah, those red-headed twins. Should we assume Tate killed them, too? They were picking on his sister, after all. But he would have still been human when those boys died.

- WHICH baby is stillborn? Does that mean technically it can live forever in the house or should we assume it died sometime before she made it inside? And are you just saying that so Constance can have it? We heard crying! That couldn't have all been in her head, that weird, dream-like state...

- Seriously, I like this orange motif. It works really well for the Croatoan fire. Birth and death, it's all just the cycle of life, right?

- Ugh, Violet. Your boyfriend murders people. I think that trumps rape, don't you? Also, I know you're dead now and all, but dead just means you can't change your style look, doomed to wear what you died in forever. You should be able to change the looks on your face. So please adjust accordingly when you get a piece of terrible news versus just some bad news.


- Well. If Connie Britton wasn't happy with her decision to adopt before, I'm sure she certainly is now.

- For real, Ben; you're a doctor, right? Why are you letting this creepy ghost doctor anywhere near this mess? And can he not hear Violet? Because he really likes yelling at her, so I would imagine this is the moment he'd turn and spit-scream something ridiculously unmeaningful at her.

- Bye, Tami Taylor. Well, not bye...I mean...just welcome. For real this time.

- Tate, your definition of "closeness" worries me.

- Also, Violet, Ben deserves to be alone. Ben sucks. Remember in the beginning of the season when I wrote about how I didn't like the male gaze of this show? I could not be happier than shifted as quickly, and yes, violently as it did.

- Tate, Nora bad-touched you when you were a little boy, and that's why you do what you do, isn't it?

- So, uh, "go away" is just temporary, right? Because Tate's the most interesting part of this show! Why can't she get rid of the dead weight, like Hayden!?

- I hate to ask this, but is Tami Taylor going to have to exist for the rest of this show's shelf life bottomless, with bloody streaks on her legs? Because, um, veto. But at least her hair will be glorious for the rest of eternity.

Okay, here's the thing.
I completely understand where Constance is coming from and why she'd want to raise her son's devil-baby, but um, her human kids were completely f-ed up, so why would she think she stands a better chance of having anything "normal" with a devil-baby? If anything, if I were her, I'd be grasping for the other "twin"-- the one who was actually fathered by a human. Even if that human happens to be Ben who kinds of sucks worse than Tate. At least then the kid will grow up with piercing eyes, great hair (like Tami Taylor), and a penchant for idiocy, not mass murder.

Is it terrible that I actually wanted Vivien to die in the house during childbirth simply so she can live there forever and be in the next season? I knew Ryan Murphy would find a way to keep his new muse around, and let's face it, there was no way that character could be alive and still find legitimate reason to stick around-- dead daughter and all. She was the only sane one in the whole show, which, when you think about it, makes her being locked in a "sanitarium" even more poetic. Every other woman in this show would have been sentenced to that during their heyday (assuming they had lived), and yet she's the one who has to undergo the treatment. Thanks a lot, Ben! But seriously, she'd mourn her daughter, sure, but then she'd move on-- far, far away. But now she doesn't have to. And maybe she can find away to make Violet less insufferable.

But mostly I'm just looking forward to the inevitable power struggle between Vivien and Constance. Now that Vivien has all the facts, she's playing from an even field. And unlike all the other crazies in the house who just want children because they're greedy, she actually has a claim to this one, so her wanting it back is not going to be a surprising fight. It's one I'm sure Constance has been prepping for, so I feel it's pretty safe to assume that next week's season finale (really? already!?) is going to be both of their's "For Your Consideration" episode.

FX is advertising "a terrifying truth" to be revealed in that season finale, but I can't help but wonder what truth there is left to find out. I honestly feel like the show has done a more thorough job than most, and certainly more than expected, with explaining the whos, hows, and whys thus far. So if it's only going to be about Ben learning the truth, I'm going to be back to pissed. Though I guess that would at least make the season come full circle from pilot to close.

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