Monday, April 16, 2012

Live-Blogging 'Smash's' "The Movie Star"...


- Damn, where did Karen (Katharine McPhee) get the money for a new bag?

- I will never not giggle at how Debra Messing says "lovahs." So Lawng Island.

- Are all television pianists named Larry? These are the details I wonder about.

- Uma is doing her best The Producers "English is not my first language." But honestly, I love the commentary in the subtext here. Just because she's a big name, everyone will trip all over themselves to "get" her, and yet, is she anywhere near the most qualified? No. Will they give her ample opportunity to get even the teensiest bit better when they would have just screamed "NEXT!" at a chorus girl who missed a smaller note? Absolutely! Ah, this business is terrible. And yet I can't stay away.

- Oh Tom (Christian Borle), they always say they can sing. Then they figure it out later. No one in this business actually knows how to ride a horse either. So don't write a Luck: The Musical next, either.

- Yes, PLEASE bring Ivy (Megan Hilty) back! Man, earlier this season I never thought I'd say *that*. How quickly the tide changes here.

- Oh Julia, if that's your son's school, you should just ignore it. No good can come of this.

- Two seconds ago Ivy and Karen were on the verge of becoming friends. Leave it to some dude to ruin that opportunity.

- Ivy's life lessons make me smile. I hope she writes a "how to achieve longevity (if not quite success) in show business" type self-help book. I'd buy it. Maybe even in hardcover.

- If I never hear Karen do that Marilyn voice again, I'll be okay.

- Though, when Ivy sings as Marilyn, she commits fully, doing the weird baby voice even when it's a nuisance. I think that shows just how much more ready and right she is for the role than Karen or Uma. Even in Derek's (Jack Davenport) mind she isn't one hundred percent "on." And yes, I know Uma's character name is Rebecca. But I am going to keep on calling her Uma.

- I've got nothing for this scene with Frank (Brian d'Arcy James). He has every right to be angry, but throwing their kid's shortcomings in his wife's face like it has nothing to do with him is ridiculous and a reason why their kid is so terrible.

- You bite your tongue, Ivy! I will NOT have Gwyneth Paltrow on this show! You are still a head above glee; why would you want to completely ruin it?

- Uma would so be on board with the weird modern, cage-dance version of Marilyn that Derek tried to workshop in Brooklyn.

- So...is Tom's hot lawyer boyfriend completely out of the picture now? Because it's been, like, a day. So I guess Tom really didn't care enough to go after him even to clarify if they were on a break or actually broken up.

- Sam (Leslie Odom Jr.) is a sports loving guy, and I can learn to understand that. But is he a virgin, too? Because now the show would be pushing it with the plausibility of his character.

- Oh Sam, you can look for reasons to bail even without sex. Trust *me* on that one. You may be too good for Tom. Or just looking for something he is not.

- Eileen (Anjelica Huston) has to stop giving Ellis (Jaime Cepero) tips. Even if she's just doing it to keep her enemies close. And especially if she's going behind his back.

- When teenagers are suddenly moody, withdrawn, and failing classes they once excelled at, it's usually drugs, stupid guidance counselor. In fact, this kid actually was caught with drugs recently. So maybe you should start there and stop trying to blame everyone around him. That's the problem with kids like him; they're told they're special snowflakes and they deflect blame onto their upbringing; their education; their stressful, stressful existence. He's sixteen, not six. He should be way more worried about his own break-ups than his parents'.

- Well, it was no drink in the face, but Eileen with mace was still a fun New York edge. (She's my favorite.)

- If Karen isn't going to sleep with his press secretary guy, there is no point to her constantly running into him. This show doesn't have time to waste on non-stories; it has so many stories it's neglecting!

- No one cares about the "actual" news, Dev (Raza Jaffrey), because it's not news at all. Karen really wanted Marilyn, she didn't get it at first. Now you didn't get a job you wanted. Circle of crappy life. But when you don't communicate with the woman you supposedly love, that's something to get upset about.

- So, does Uma think she's a producer on this musical? Does she have Ellis level delusions? Because actors don't get to call "pow wows" with writers whenever they want. It's a wonder she keeps getting work at all. Or maybe she's not anymore; maybe everyone in Hollywood is sick of her shenanigans, and that's why they're "banishing" her to the theater. Either way, I like to know how an actor works before I even breathe their name in the vicinity of my projects. I don't want someone to think it's a great idea, only for me to realize I don't like their personality or work ethic. I have lofty goals for the sense of family and camaraderie I try to create on sets...

- Do you really want to meet the mysterious boyfriend, Ivy? I mean, I know you don't want competition for Derek but...

- Um, no one blinks the lights at movie screenings. That's strictly a theater thing.

- Seriously? Ellis gets called out by accident? He makes so many bad judgement calls, and the one that finally gets him in trouble is something that stupid? I guess I should just be happy he got a small snippet of comeuppence, but it's like a drug. A tiny drop is not enough. I need him tortured. Head shaved, forced to wear sweats, or something.

- Can Karen and Ivy team up to take down Ellis? Maybe Cagney & Lacey style or something?

- I was actually interested to see where this "a lot of people believe in God" conversation was going to go. I hate that this show wants everything to move at a New York clip. Sometimes I just want to sit with a character for a little bit. Smash seems to be afraid that if I sit with one or two too long I won't like them anymore. But really, what I don't like is how it's forcing me not to dig too deep.

- Uma is not wrong about all of the changes that need to be made to Marilyn for it to fit her abilities, but let's look at that, should we? Lowering Marilyn's voice an octave or two makes her not Marilyn anymore. How long before they wake up and realize her name isn't worth all the fuss? Well, with the way the show is paced, probably only an episode. So I guess there's the good thing about the movement.

- Sometimes I feel like this kid is an adult actor playing ten, like in an SNL sketch. Even his haircut is immature.

- Seriously, show; stop trying to make Dev happen. HE'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

- Randall. Your name is Randall, right? You're the only smart one. We all hate users. I know you're not nearly as powerful as you deserve to be, but please crush Ellis. CRUSH HIM.

- I would have rather cut between Uma's version of that song and Ivy's imagined own way of tackling it. Not only do powerful diva duets always win me over, but Hilty didn't get to sing anything in this episode, and that's just a waste of her talent!

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