Friday, May 3, 2013

'The Office' Encouraged Me To Quit One Job, and It May Have Done It Again...

The Office was the thing that inspired me to quit my boring, corporate, desk job a few years ago, to give my actual interests one more try, so it seems only fitting that it's what has made me realize I need to move on yet again, only this time what I'm moving on from is pursuing that pipe dream career. I never set a deadline for myself back then, so here I am, almost four years after the fact, almost thirty, somehow complacent and compliant in my own nothingness.

See, years ago, I identified with Jim: a guy with a lot of passion and creativity but seemingly bored as all hell, stuck in a menial job. But maybe I was projecting a bit, and as usual, seeing only what I wanted to see. He had an outlet (flirting with Pam, torturing Dwight), and the combination made him a well-rounded and interesting person. He was downright magnetic. But I felt trapped, and I looked upon him in a similar situation with pity. It probably didn't help that I had mainlined about four seasons in two weeks. I used it as my "I don't want that to be me" courage to try again, somewhat bravely or desperately, depending on your own stance on the subject, I suppose.
I gave it a go. I can honestly say I did, but it didn't work out. I'm not a kid anymore; I'm no longer grieving, after having just stared death in the face and realized my biggest fear was going out with regrets; I'm not any closer to being a verified success in the entertainment business. In fact, I've only taken constant steps backwards. Meanwhile, the sheer instability, and often stupidity, have sucked all of the fun out of what I once loved most in the world.

I may not be in my late-30s like Andy, but other than that, we're in the same boat (no money saved, no prospects). Actually, I am probably worse for wear because he has a marketable talent and still retains genuine excitement. So while watching those around him try to talk him out of quitting Dunder Miflin for show business, I found myself in a position in which I never expected to be: agreeing with them. He certainly couldn't agree because he had yet to pursue his artistic ambitions, so for him never to try would just be sad and wrong. But I had tried, and maybe I hadn't failed, but I certainly hadn't gotten what I wanted.

I may not be head over heels or insanely passionate about what I do to earn my living in the future, but there's enough other time to be passionate about hobbies and people and my home. The best thing could be that my insane pop culture knowledge and unique previous professional experience would suddenly be one very specific interesting part of me, not everything about me. 

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